so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
