White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The Olympian is in my bed
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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