Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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