She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
