you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
