I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
