Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
