She is in my trunk
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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