): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
as a side note pls kill me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
