all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
