she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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