Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think your dad took our porno
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
