I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
