Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
