Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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