I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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