Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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