I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
