I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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