It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
