Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
