HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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