Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
