...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.