Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.