I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.