I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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