Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
zippers are such a cool invention
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
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saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
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wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever