Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door