Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm like, not good at living.