Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.

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  (707): im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt. http://tfl.nu/7lkv
  Replies (25) Good night (854) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.

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  (303): normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective. http://tfl.nu/9jpo
  Replies (28) Good night (5270) Bad night (519)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.

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  (813): If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story. http://tfl.nu/womj
  Replies (14) Good night (661) Bad night (2443) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...

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  (310): It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass... http://tfl.nu/egbe
  Replies (69) Good night (1357) Bad night (4440) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.

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  (318): Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity. http://tfl.nu/izk8
  Replies (66) Good night (474) Bad night (4640)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.

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  (847): I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever. http://tfl.nu/av4z
  Replies (15) Good night (703) Bad night (4197) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever

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  (540): just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever http://tfl.nu/k011
  Replies (34) Good night (7494) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings

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  (214): More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings http://tfl.nu/n37n
  Replies (14) Good night (2615) Bad night (1207) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.

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  (757): We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out. http://tfl.nu/e9z5
  Replies (4) Good night (1078) Bad night (3497) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days

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  (405): I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days http://tfl.nu/vazm
  Replies (6) Good night (1683) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?

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  (401): Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...? http://tfl.nu/zp7y
  Replies (3) Good night (2220) Bad night (641)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  since 2006

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  (207): someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship? (1-207): since 2006 http://tfl.nu/9t6c
  Replies (7) Good night (2089) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...

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  (312): I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today. (773): I'm not sure which feat is more impressive... http://tfl.nu/ga4t
  Replies (2) Good night (1399) Bad night (405)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She's the worst person, but the best naked person

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  (248): She's the worst person, but the best naked person http://tfl.nu/e5d7
  Replies (7) Good night (1604) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette

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  (479): Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette http://tfl.nu/qtmi
  Replies (3) Good night (959) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt

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