ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
