There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
