Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
