You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
