i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
