So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
