what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
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the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
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He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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