this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
