there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
