he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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