: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize