I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
