so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
