i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
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