I faked an abortion last night.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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