I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
