mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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