At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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