Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
