sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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