SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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