I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
