After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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