Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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