he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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