he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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