p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
