Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This is my gift to your gina
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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