Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
