shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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