I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
