Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
