I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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