well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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